My Inner 13 Year Old

I don’t care that you look like ridiculously underfed mall rats at an Edward Gorey convention or that your hair is porn for  emo kids.

Don't you just want to punch them in their mouth parts?

I also don’t care that “Strange House” sounded like Screaming Lord Sutch trapped in a tin can. Honestly, I kind of like that.

I get that you’re not reinventing the wheel and that the bands you mimic did it better 25 years ago. Umm, got that memo the other day. Totally saw those bands and have the unflattering t-shirts to prove it. Whatever. I also get that the NME’s obsession with you is kind of annoying but that’s not really your fault, is it?  I know there are a million reasons why I should quit you but I can’t. Truth is, I can’t stop playing your new record.  Seriously. “Primary Colours” sounds like The Psychedelic Furs and Clan of Xymox beating the shit out of My Bloody Valentine.  Last time I checked, that was my favorite sound EVER.  By the way, when did you start listening to my Jesus And Mary Chain records? Were you even alive when “Darklands” came out?

All I’m trying to say is, well played. I didn’t know how hungry I was for “Winklepicker shoegazer rock” until this week.

I can’t wait to stare at my shoes during your show on Sunday. I hear The Kills will be there, too.